Love! Our favorite pastime

Today’s thought has been rolling around my head for about two weeks now. I’m really only writing it down because Angie told me to. Not that I don’t want to write it down, but writing it requires thinking it through, and that takes a lot of effort. A lot more effort than it takes to watch March Madness unfold.

It all started when I bought The Cranberries ‘Best Of’ album for my birthday. It took several listens before getting to the very last song, “Stars.”

The stars are bright tonight/And I am walking nowhere/And you are always right/And my you are so perfect // I love you just the way you are/I’ll have you just the way you are/I’ll take you just the way you are/Does anybody love the way they are?

If this was a song by most other bands, I might have assumed that it was just love lyrics, blah blah blah, and not have given it a second thought. But The Cranberries are Irish.* So I played the song back and listened again. And again. And I contemplated…

Love is a very popular idea. A recent poll** found that 89% of Americans believe that most of our problems could be solved if we would love each other more. Really, we just don’t want anyone to step on our toes. This doesn’t seem to be helping us improve.

If we all just listened to the Cranberries*** then maybe we’d realize something very important.

Love is fully realized only when it is unconditional. This is not the same as tolerance; tolerance requires no real sacrifice. But love does. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” and, “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” (John 15 and Matthew 5)

Honestly, this stuff isn’t new to most people, especially people like me who have grown up Christian. What’s new is something I heard from Rev. Alex Gee. At some point in his life Alex, who grew up Pentecostal, befriended a Presbyterian. This is similar to John Kerry and George W. Bush going hunting, in that each would want to shoot the other and make it look like an accident. But as Alex got to know his new friend better, he realized not only that he was already more Presbyterian than he’d first thought, he was becoming more Presbyterian!

This becoming fascinates me. I’d never really considered that if I love someone, I myself might change. I might lose some of what I was, and gain something of someone else. I will become a different person than when I first endeavored to love.

A record is playing in my head that we shouldn’t let other people change us, that we should discover who we are and be strong and self-confident. That is the American way, right? Believe what you believe no matter what anyone else says? You have yours and I have mine, and we should all be allowed to do and believe just as we please?

Where many modern people, Christian and non-Christian alike, get it wrong is that they are unwilling to open themselves up to the possibility of change. Loving, having and taking someone just the way they are means opening yourself to the possibility of becoming something you didn’t expect, or perhaps even feared. This is most scary when we build our lives around people who are similar to us; some change and others don’t (not in the same way at least), so friends drift apart, family ties strain, and lovers have to work harder to keep loving.

Here are some changes I’ve seen in myself: I used to keep up with friends regularly; now it could take months before I see or talk to them. I used to be sure that Democrats were the devil’s children; now I have some common ground with them. I used to hate peas; actually, I still hate peas. But I like salads!

Amidst change, though, there are a few constants. “God works all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8) I believe all the changes in my life are no surprise to God. He might just have initiated them himself.

There is so much more that I could say about this. In fact, I probably could write a whole book on it. Maybe one day I will. For now, I’ll leave you to ponder, because I am hungry.





* And Irish is almost always better. U2 – need I say more?
** I made this up.
*** And U2. And Jesus, of course.