One of my favorite things to do - though it can drive my wife crazy - is to ask, "What does that mean?" I can find a way to ask it about almost anything. For extra fun, I'll put the emphasis on different words. ("What does that mean?" "What does that mean?" etc.)
Today I considered the phrase "I believe in..." which is commonly ended with Jesus, God, science, myself... what you will. I asked myself, "What does it mean to believe in something?
It means nothing! It is an incomplete thought. Belief is a perception about how things really are, a statement about what is true or false. For instance, I believe that the sky is blue. I believe our dog will mess on my carpet (again) by the end of the weekend. I believe I can do a push-up. I believe I cannot run a full marathon.
It makes no sense to say, "I believe in the sky," unless I add, "as something that is blue." Nor, "I believe in my dog" unless qualified by "as a willfully naughty pooper." To state a belief in something requires qualification, if you want to understood accurately.
Of course, we English speakers often use shortened or modified phrases in place of longer, but more complete, ones. I do. It works because we have a common understanding of what the modified phrase is intended to convey.
However, I object to oversimplification at the expense of clarity. When I hear someone say, "I believe in God," I assume the speaker means, "I believe that God exists." I assume this is what most people would understand, but it does require an assumption on my part. The speaker could also be meaning, "I believe in God to get me out of my awful situation," or, by contrast, "I believe in God as a figment of people's imaginations." Same phrase, three possible meanings.
The more clear offender is, "I believe in Jesus." I believe in Jesus to what end? That he existed? That he is God incarnate? That is was a mere man? That he saves people from their sins? That he died and was raised to life? As a political revolutionary? As the new high priest? As a worker of miracles? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT PHRASE???
Similarly inconclusive is, "If you believe in Jesus/God, then you will go to heaven," or "Believe in yourself."
I urge everyone - especially Christians seeking to communicate the gospel with people who do not necessarily assume the same meanings of certain common Christian phrases as you! - to use language effectively, not casually. Speak to ensure that your hearers understand you!Misunderstandings are inevitable, and should not be used as grounds to judge or look down on anyone. And let it be known that I try very, very hard to avoid the arrogance of elitism, that even now I am afraid you may be hearing in my words.
But at every possible opportunity, be clear in your speech! Take nothing for granted! It is better (in my opinion) to assume others does not know exactly what you mean, than to assume they do. The negative consequences of the latter assumption are far greater than those of the former!
And let's not judge someone just based on what he/she says. Words are windows that are sometimes cracked or opaque.
I realized this morning I tend to do this with certain famous evangelists/televised Christians. So I will try to do the same.
Friday, July 20
Wednesday, July 18
Being MINDful of God
I've been reading some good books (slowly, but nonetheless) about the role of reason/logic/mind in the life of a Christian. It's not about being book-smart or academic, but about making learning a priority, and aligning one's mind/paradigm with what it true, what is godly (believing that all truth is God's truth).
A Mind for God by James Emery White
Love Your God With All Your Mind by JP Moreland
Anything by Dallas Willard
Along the same lines, I'm going to make a plug for Gordon Fee, a highly respected textual critic of the New Testament (and a committed Christian). He is also an Assemblies of God minister. I've skimmed through his How to Read the Bible for All It's Worth, and it appears excellent. One thing I love about him is his emphatic insistence that Christians NEED to read the Bible well, not to interpret it willy-nilly but to be good students of what the original authors were and weren't intending to convey. A lot of bad theology is put out by pretty decent people, simply because they abuse the Bible rather than use it. Often out of ignorance, not malicious intent.
For example, I found this very insightful:
"Let it be understood that the plain meaning of the text is always the first rule, as well as the ultimate goal, of all valid interpretation. But "plain meaning" has first of all to do with author's original intent, it has to do with what would have been plain to those whom the words were originally addressed. It has not to do with how someone from a suburbanized white American culture of the late 20th century reads his own cultural setting back into the text through the frequently distorted prism of the language of the early 17th century.
"(3 John 2, in the King James Version): 'Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.' Of this text, [Kenneth] Copeland [in The Laws of Prosperity], says, 'John writes that we should prosper and be in health' (p.14) But is this what the text actually says? Hardly! In the first place, the Greek word translated "prosper" in the KJV mean "to go well with someone," just as a friend in a letter two days ago said, "I pray that this letter finds you all well. (cf. 3 John 2 in the KJV, GBN, NEB, RSV, etc.). This combination of wishing for 'things to go well' and for the recipient's 'good health' was the standard form of greeting in a personal letter in antiquity. To extend John's wish for Gaius to refer to financial and material prosperity for all Christians of all time is totally foreign to the text."
That's from pgs. 9-10 of one of my new favorites, The Disease of the Health and Wealth Gospels.
Go visit your local library!
A Mind for God by James Emery White
Love Your God With All Your Mind by JP Moreland
Anything by Dallas Willard
Along the same lines, I'm going to make a plug for Gordon Fee, a highly respected textual critic of the New Testament (and a committed Christian). He is also an Assemblies of God minister. I've skimmed through his How to Read the Bible for All It's Worth, and it appears excellent. One thing I love about him is his emphatic insistence that Christians NEED to read the Bible well, not to interpret it willy-nilly but to be good students of what the original authors were and weren't intending to convey. A lot of bad theology is put out by pretty decent people, simply because they abuse the Bible rather than use it. Often out of ignorance, not malicious intent.
For example, I found this very insightful:
"Let it be understood that the plain meaning of the text is always the first rule, as well as the ultimate goal, of all valid interpretation. But "plain meaning" has first of all to do with author's original intent, it has to do with what would have been plain to those whom the words were originally addressed. It has not to do with how someone from a suburbanized white American culture of the late 20th century reads his own cultural setting back into the text through the frequently distorted prism of the language of the early 17th century.
"(3 John 2, in the King James Version): 'Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.' Of this text, [Kenneth] Copeland [in The Laws of Prosperity], says, 'John writes that we should prosper and be in health' (p.14) But is this what the text actually says? Hardly! In the first place, the Greek word translated "prosper" in the KJV mean "to go well with someone," just as a friend in a letter two days ago said, "I pray that this letter finds you all well. (cf. 3 John 2 in the KJV, GBN, NEB, RSV, etc.). This combination of wishing for 'things to go well' and for the recipient's 'good health' was the standard form of greeting in a personal letter in antiquity. To extend John's wish for Gaius to refer to financial and material prosperity for all Christians of all time is totally foreign to the text."
That's from pgs. 9-10 of one of my new favorites, The Disease of the Health and Wealth Gospels.
Go visit your local library!
Wednesday, July 11
From Pope John Paul II
I've been listening to a book on CD, written by Pope John Paul II. He said something about youth and mentoring that I thought was worth sharing. At least, I connected with it.
"What is youth? It is not only a period of life that corresponds to a certain number of years. It is also a time given by providence to every person, and given to him as a responsibility. During that time, he searches, like the young man in the gospel, for answer to basic questions. He searches not only for the meaning of life, but also for a concrete way to go about living his life. This is the most fundamental characteristic of youth.
Every mentor, beginning with parents, let alone every pastor, must be aware of this characteristic, and must know how to identify it in every boy and girl. I will say more. He must love this fundamental aspect of youth.
If at every stage of his life, man desires to be his own person, to find love, during his youth he desires it even more strongly. The desire to be one’s own person, however, is not a license to do anything without exception. The young do not want that at all. They are willing to be corrected, they want to be told yes or no. They need guides, and they want them close at hand. If they turn to authority figures, they do so because they see in them a wealth of human warmth and the willingness to walk with them along the paths they are following."
The book is called "Crossing the Threshold of Hope". Visit your local library.
"What is youth? It is not only a period of life that corresponds to a certain number of years. It is also a time given by providence to every person, and given to him as a responsibility. During that time, he searches, like the young man in the gospel, for answer to basic questions. He searches not only for the meaning of life, but also for a concrete way to go about living his life. This is the most fundamental characteristic of youth.
Every mentor, beginning with parents, let alone every pastor, must be aware of this characteristic, and must know how to identify it in every boy and girl. I will say more. He must love this fundamental aspect of youth.
If at every stage of his life, man desires to be his own person, to find love, during his youth he desires it even more strongly. The desire to be one’s own person, however, is not a license to do anything without exception. The young do not want that at all. They are willing to be corrected, they want to be told yes or no. They need guides, and they want them close at hand. If they turn to authority figures, they do so because they see in them a wealth of human warmth and the willingness to walk with them along the paths they are following."
The book is called "Crossing the Threshold of Hope". Visit your local library.
Monday, June 25
Happy Anniversary!
Today is my 2nd wedding anniversary - I have now been married 2 whole years. It feels longer because of all the things Angie and I have since that fateful day in June '05. We have: honeymooned in Indonesia, spent holidays in California, Wisconsin, New York, and North Carolina, held 5 different jobs between us, changed churches twice, moved three times (counting our first apartment), bought a house, and renovated said house while having two siblings and a dog living with us.
And now we've been accepted to seminary, and we are both seriously considering taking full-time course loads while working full time. We may just be headed for crazy town. At least we don't have kids yet.
And we're not one of the 1 of 12 marriages that don't make it past the first two years!
I sometimes wonder where I would be if I hadn't met Angie. I don't think there's any way I could have met Angie and not married her. Maybe if I'd been assigned an RA position in a different building at UNC. Or if she had decided to go back to California as soon as she finished her senior year. Or if I had actually stuck with my now infamous declaration "I am not attracted to you" (ask Angie about it; she'd love to tell you the story) and willed myself single through what would have been a painfully awkward semester.
Looking back it seems somewhat inevitable: once the pieces were in place we just followed this script that had been the plan all along (not that we knew it at the time), and the only way things could have turned differently is if we had forced ourselved to screw it up. I really do thank God we made so many good choices, and that our bad choices were forgiven and given enough grace to become points of strength in what God was building.
But what if the pieces weren't put into place? What if one of us had been assigned to a different dorm, or not even made it as an RA? Considering my aversion to dating, we might never have been anything more than acquaintances. Then where would I be? Maybe:
1. In graduate school somewhere in the US
2. On staff with Intervarsity somewhere in the US
3. Working in North Carolina
4. Working in Wisconsin, living with or near my parents
5. Not working, and still living with my parents in Wisconsin
None of these options are wholly unappealing (except perhaps number 5), and I probably would be quite content had any of them materialized. Maybe even happy.
But that would be because I would have no inkling of the kind of life I have actually had since I met and married Angie. It moves at what feels like a frighteningly breakneck speed (whereas my inclination is to plod along like a tortoise), but I mind that less and less. How could I? If it's a choice between my life with Angie and anything else I can imagine, I will choose Angie every time.
In closing, I'm going to share a few principles by which I try to live my marriage and my life:
- Be open and honest. Hide nothing. The time it takes to understand and to be understood can be laborious, but the reward is rich.
- The other person is more important than anything else I think I need. Marriage means being willing to turn my back on any part of my old life to create this new one. I may never get back some things I've given up or lost. But compared to what I've gained, it's not really that much of a loss.
- It is a myth and a lie that I will lose myself if I let anyone alter or take away "the things that make me who I am" - my preferences, habits, hobbies, dreams, opinions, expectations, beliefs, and independence - especially without my permission. In loving someone and in being loved I will change (it's inevitable!) and not necessarily in ways I expect or approve. Part of love is allowing another person to make you something you were not before he or she came along.
People cannot help but affect each other. If a man was an island, he still couldn't avoid the weather. I rub off on everyone I meet, and I get something of them rubbed off on me. The more I open myself up, the more it happens.
To live in step with this is, I think, the only hope any of us has of being completely fulfilled. Maybe the lie at the root of all our struggles is that there can be equally viable ways of living, if we will just find them (or create them). But there is no other way. We need people and we need God, just like we need food for hunger, water for thirst, and air for breathing, and it has to be that they are more imporant than ourselves, or else it won't work.
Perhaps becoming like Jesus is just learning to live in line with how things really are, to realize once and for all that every time we ask, "Are you sure it can't be that way?" Jesus will say, "No, there is only one way - my way," and we say, "Then take me that way."
If anyone stayed with me to the end of this, I always welcome feedback. I might be wrong about some or all of it. After all, I need you, don't I?
This is dedicated to my wife, who is more beautiful, smart, funny, caring, self-sacrificial, incorrigible, and loveable than I deserve. Happy Anniversary!
And now we've been accepted to seminary, and we are both seriously considering taking full-time course loads while working full time. We may just be headed for crazy town. At least we don't have kids yet.
And we're not one of the 1 of 12 marriages that don't make it past the first two years!
I sometimes wonder where I would be if I hadn't met Angie. I don't think there's any way I could have met Angie and not married her. Maybe if I'd been assigned an RA position in a different building at UNC. Or if she had decided to go back to California as soon as she finished her senior year. Or if I had actually stuck with my now infamous declaration "I am not attracted to you" (ask Angie about it; she'd love to tell you the story) and willed myself single through what would have been a painfully awkward semester.
Looking back it seems somewhat inevitable: once the pieces were in place we just followed this script that had been the plan all along (not that we knew it at the time), and the only way things could have turned differently is if we had forced ourselved to screw it up. I really do thank God we made so many good choices, and that our bad choices were forgiven and given enough grace to become points of strength in what God was building.
But what if the pieces weren't put into place? What if one of us had been assigned to a different dorm, or not even made it as an RA? Considering my aversion to dating, we might never have been anything more than acquaintances. Then where would I be? Maybe:
1. In graduate school somewhere in the US
2. On staff with Intervarsity somewhere in the US
3. Working in North Carolina
4. Working in Wisconsin, living with or near my parents
5. Not working, and still living with my parents in Wisconsin
None of these options are wholly unappealing (except perhaps number 5), and I probably would be quite content had any of them materialized. Maybe even happy.
But that would be because I would have no inkling of the kind of life I have actually had since I met and married Angie. It moves at what feels like a frighteningly breakneck speed (whereas my inclination is to plod along like a tortoise), but I mind that less and less. How could I? If it's a choice between my life with Angie and anything else I can imagine, I will choose Angie every time.
In closing, I'm going to share a few principles by which I try to live my marriage and my life:
- Be open and honest. Hide nothing. The time it takes to understand and to be understood can be laborious, but the reward is rich.
- The other person is more important than anything else I think I need. Marriage means being willing to turn my back on any part of my old life to create this new one. I may never get back some things I've given up or lost. But compared to what I've gained, it's not really that much of a loss.
- It is a myth and a lie that I will lose myself if I let anyone alter or take away "the things that make me who I am" - my preferences, habits, hobbies, dreams, opinions, expectations, beliefs, and independence - especially without my permission. In loving someone and in being loved I will change (it's inevitable!) and not necessarily in ways I expect or approve. Part of love is allowing another person to make you something you were not before he or she came along.
People cannot help but affect each other. If a man was an island, he still couldn't avoid the weather. I rub off on everyone I meet, and I get something of them rubbed off on me. The more I open myself up, the more it happens.
To live in step with this is, I think, the only hope any of us has of being completely fulfilled. Maybe the lie at the root of all our struggles is that there can be equally viable ways of living, if we will just find them (or create them). But there is no other way. We need people and we need God, just like we need food for hunger, water for thirst, and air for breathing, and it has to be that they are more imporant than ourselves, or else it won't work.
Perhaps becoming like Jesus is just learning to live in line with how things really are, to realize once and for all that every time we ask, "Are you sure it can't be that way?" Jesus will say, "No, there is only one way - my way," and we say, "Then take me that way."
If anyone stayed with me to the end of this, I always welcome feedback. I might be wrong about some or all of it. After all, I need you, don't I?
This is dedicated to my wife, who is more beautiful, smart, funny, caring, self-sacrificial, incorrigible, and loveable than I deserve. Happy Anniversary!
Thursday, May 10
Toledo, OH
Recently at work I helped one of our Ohio districts sell a house in Toledo. Through the process I've learned that Toledo is a quickly declining city, with increasing unemployment and homelessness, and lots of abandonded property: economically depressed. And of course economics are consequence and cause of other kinds of depression/decline (spiritual, personal, social).
The District Supervisor sent me the web address of the Cherry Street Mission to get to the president's blog. I encourage you to check out both (links below). The mission seems to be doing good work among the homeless and dispossessed in Toledo. And Dan Rogers (the president) has some really good thoughts on homelessness and poverty. His heart is for Toledo, but his insights could apply to any community. And for those of us who live in an area where the depression is easy to miss or ignore, there is much to learn, and much of which we need to be reminded.
http://cherrystreetmission.blogspot.com/
http://www.cherrystreetmission.org/
Enjoy! I hope it blesses and challenges you, as it has me.
The District Supervisor sent me the web address of the Cherry Street Mission to get to the president's blog. I encourage you to check out both (links below). The mission seems to be doing good work among the homeless and dispossessed in Toledo. And Dan Rogers (the president) has some really good thoughts on homelessness and poverty. His heart is for Toledo, but his insights could apply to any community. And for those of us who live in an area where the depression is easy to miss or ignore, there is much to learn, and much of which we need to be reminded.
http://cherrystreetmission.blogspot.com/
http://www.cherrystreetmission.org/
Enjoy! I hope it blesses and challenges you, as it has me.
Friday, May 4
Imagination
I think my imagination is being restored.
I'm little by little becoming excited about the possibilities of a Jesus-centric life again. I've spent far too much time in the last few years being cynical about Christians and churches. Now, I'm beginning to see again (or perhaps for the very first time) that I need to be affinitied (not a real word, I know) to churches, not alienated from them. Why would we abandon people who already have a commitment to at least some of the things of Jesus (much of the time), in exclusive favor of those who have none? I, with "them" (meaning - "WE") need to together pursue Jesus and his transformation for the world.
And I believe it is God's desire to transform the world. One person at a time.
And it can happen through churches - because it can happen through the people, who are self-organized into these communities called churches. All we need is a refreshed devotion to Jesus, and de-tachment from sin and the world.
Meaning a detachment from obsession with entertainment and comfort and busyness and toys. Because what of these things will last? Only what we deposit into people, and that we do in service to God, because it is his heart to see all people loved and to have the utmost opportunity to choose Him, to choose righteousness, to choose to love people.
This is a bit rambling, but I'm out of time so I can't revise it and polish it. But just know this, oh dear reader - my imagination is being restored. I'm beginning to re-imagine the possibility of transformed people... including myself.
I'm little by little becoming excited about the possibilities of a Jesus-centric life again. I've spent far too much time in the last few years being cynical about Christians and churches. Now, I'm beginning to see again (or perhaps for the very first time) that I need to be affinitied (not a real word, I know) to churches, not alienated from them. Why would we abandon people who already have a commitment to at least some of the things of Jesus (much of the time), in exclusive favor of those who have none? I, with "them" (meaning - "WE") need to together pursue Jesus and his transformation for the world.
And I believe it is God's desire to transform the world. One person at a time.
And it can happen through churches - because it can happen through the people, who are self-organized into these communities called churches. All we need is a refreshed devotion to Jesus, and de-tachment from sin and the world.
Meaning a detachment from obsession with entertainment and comfort and busyness and toys. Because what of these things will last? Only what we deposit into people, and that we do in service to God, because it is his heart to see all people loved and to have the utmost opportunity to choose Him, to choose righteousness, to choose to love people.
This is a bit rambling, but I'm out of time so I can't revise it and polish it. But just know this, oh dear reader - my imagination is being restored. I'm beginning to re-imagine the possibility of transformed people... including myself.
Thursday, May 3
Christian Politics
Musing for today: Christianity is political. It has to be. Read the Gospels, read the prophets, and you'll see politics everywhere.
Not politics as we see it in the American media - debates, candidates, polls. The "contest," the "race," is not the heart of politics, even though that's what takes center stage today. Politics is, according to Wikipedia, "the process by which groups make decisions." It's how people live together. It's how we, together, decide to order our lives.
And Christianity is about building a kingdom - "kingdom of the heavens" or "kingdom of God." Not to be established by force, certainly not by violence. But to be informed by a particular perspective, which essentially recognizes that your purpose, my purpose, is to live for everyone else, for God.
That doesn't sound particularly political - but it is. The essence of a Christian in the area of politics is to apply this principle of selflessness as ruthlessly as possible.
High aspirations that I, for one, am afraid to fully apply. But I'm working on it.
There is a significant overlap between ethics (individual values, personal responsibility, development of good/right character) and politics (or so said Aristotle), and "a truly ethical life can only be lived by someone who participates in politics" (again, Aristotle).
I submit to you that this is true, and especially so for the Christian.
More could be said, but let me say that I am not advocating being "right-wing" or "conservative." I'm advocating living, through and through, ethically and politically, like Jesus. And for that, we need to look back into the Gospels and spend some good time identifying (and then practicing) his paradigm.
Not politics as we see it in the American media - debates, candidates, polls. The "contest," the "race," is not the heart of politics, even though that's what takes center stage today. Politics is, according to Wikipedia, "the process by which groups make decisions." It's how people live together. It's how we, together, decide to order our lives.
And Christianity is about building a kingdom - "kingdom of the heavens" or "kingdom of God." Not to be established by force, certainly not by violence. But to be informed by a particular perspective, which essentially recognizes that your purpose, my purpose, is to live for everyone else, for God.
That doesn't sound particularly political - but it is. The essence of a Christian in the area of politics is to apply this principle of selflessness as ruthlessly as possible.
High aspirations that I, for one, am afraid to fully apply. But I'm working on it.
There is a significant overlap between ethics (individual values, personal responsibility, development of good/right character) and politics (or so said Aristotle), and "a truly ethical life can only be lived by someone who participates in politics" (again, Aristotle).
I submit to you that this is true, and especially so for the Christian.
More could be said, but let me say that I am not advocating being "right-wing" or "conservative." I'm advocating living, through and through, ethically and politically, like Jesus. And for that, we need to look back into the Gospels and spend some good time identifying (and then practicing) his paradigm.
Friday, April 27
Conversations
For me, reading comments sections on blogs and online articles is like watching Independence Day: by the time I'm at the end, everything has blown up. Religion and politics tend to carry the shortest fuses.
My thought is a very basic one that I stole from a guy named Tony Jones, a bigwig in the Emergent village, and the "Emergent conversation." One of the distinctives of this thing called "Emergent" is that everything (or almost everything) is "on the table." Nothing is taken for granted, and everything is open for discussion. This is scary and often downright offensive to many of its critics. This is what appeals to me.
I heard a talk he gave where he said that one of the most essential aspects of this "nothing's off the table" conversation (which occurs between various church leaders around the country) is that it began, and continues in what he called "the envelope of friendship." What keeps the conversation going, it sounds like, is the relationship. Otherwise, I wonder if it would have died off years ago, as soon as disagreements about important (and sensitive) issues caused people to repel each other like magnets.
In online discussions of religion and politics, there is no relationship between the commentators. And so often, it shows. Degradation, insults, disrespect... all rampant.
I hope that anyone who reads this will, when blogging or commenting, always remember that relationship is more important than winning in a discussion, or making sure one's point gets across, or being right. Keep first things first: relationship is always more important than whatever you feel, in the moment, is more important. If we work on developing good relationships, and have discussions within the context of those relationships, then we should feel safe bringing up any kind of question, doubt, thought.
In the best relationships, there will be no fear. And if there is truly no fear, I cannot help but suspect the presence of love (see 1 John). And love ought to be the distinctive of Christians. Not winning, not being right. Love. Let's apply love to our online activity as well. And encourage others to do the same, in word and deed.
My thought is a very basic one that I stole from a guy named Tony Jones, a bigwig in the Emergent village, and the "Emergent conversation." One of the distinctives of this thing called "Emergent" is that everything (or almost everything) is "on the table." Nothing is taken for granted, and everything is open for discussion. This is scary and often downright offensive to many of its critics. This is what appeals to me.
I heard a talk he gave where he said that one of the most essential aspects of this "nothing's off the table" conversation (which occurs between various church leaders around the country) is that it began, and continues in what he called "the envelope of friendship." What keeps the conversation going, it sounds like, is the relationship. Otherwise, I wonder if it would have died off years ago, as soon as disagreements about important (and sensitive) issues caused people to repel each other like magnets.
In online discussions of religion and politics, there is no relationship between the commentators. And so often, it shows. Degradation, insults, disrespect... all rampant.
I hope that anyone who reads this will, when blogging or commenting, always remember that relationship is more important than winning in a discussion, or making sure one's point gets across, or being right. Keep first things first: relationship is always more important than whatever you feel, in the moment, is more important. If we work on developing good relationships, and have discussions within the context of those relationships, then we should feel safe bringing up any kind of question, doubt, thought.
In the best relationships, there will be no fear. And if there is truly no fear, I cannot help but suspect the presence of love (see 1 John). And love ought to be the distinctive of Christians. Not winning, not being right. Love. Let's apply love to our online activity as well. And encourage others to do the same, in word and deed.
Tuesday, March 27
On Death
I've been thinking about death ever since I heard about Jason Ray, the UNC mascot who died Monday morning after being struck by a car. I knew Jason. Not well, granted, but I was an Intervarsity small group leader the same time he was, and he was in Angie's adaptation of The Great Divorce. He was a good guy, a little rough around the edges (I'll be honest, I didn't always like him), but he was good. What little I know of him, he was not afraid to say what he was thinking, was not afraid to be open, and had a heart for people. He did a really good job in the Great Divorce, too.
He was 21 or 22 (not sure which). I am 23. And to be honest, I don't really want to die quite yet. I want to live a full life, even though I believe I have a place in heaven after I die, which I believe will overshadow anything I want to experience during this lifetime. But still, I'm kind of afraid of dying.
In my freshman year of college, when I had no friends and spent a lot of time in my room (which I didn't mind), I remember at one point praying about death. Not praying for it - I've never had to contend with suicidal thoughts - but about (please don't laugh, or think me too proud) how much the world would miss out on all my genius (for lack of a better word). As in, "I have so much unique potential, what a waste it would be if it was never realized."
God cured me of that. At the time, I came to terms with my imagined death by realizing that whatever uniqueness had been endowed upon me (my insights, especially), God would not waste. I thought, "Well, if I die, God will take everything he's given to me and give it to someone else to bring to the world." While I still believe that to be somewhat true, it is not the only reason the idea of my death is not so unjust anymore. God has done much to humble me over the years.
I also imagined my funeral. Morbid? Perhaps. I heard a story about a guy who planned his funeral as he waited for cancer to take his life. I thought, "Wow. I'd like to have the chance to plan my own funeral. I'll start with a U2 song." A bit romantic. And a little dumb.
I thought of it again yesterday when I heard this Jars of Clay song. I really wish I could find a link to the music, because it's one of my few favorites. I want this played at my funeral. Not because this is where I am - emotionally, spiritually, intellectually - but where I want to be.
When I go, don't cry for me
In my Father's arms I'll be
The wounds this world left on my soul
Will all be healed and I'll be whole.
There are days when I find myself in that place. Some days I get so fed up with the world that I just long for a better place. A better time, when all tears will be washed away - and not just mine. There are days when I feel a poignant longing when the dream of heaven will be fully realized, and all will be just and right and there will be no sin or grief.
And yet, I fear death. I don't desire it - not fully, not yet. I'm attached to this world, perhaps because I have lots left that I want to do. This world is not as it should be, and I want to live a full life to do what I can to make it more like what it should be. More like heaven, really.
And yet this does not explain why some people are taken before their full potential is realized. Jason's death seems nonsensical. Sudden, quick, without purpose. Popping whatever romantic dreams of death I've conjured.
Or perhaps it's not so nonsensical. Maybe planning my own funeral isn't just romantic hot air. Maybe in both there is an opportunity to consider heaven again, and the promise it holds. Though I'm afraid of dying, I'm not afraid of the after. Though those close to Jason surely will grieve, and I (farther away) will feel melancholy as I contemplate death - is it too cliche to say he may be in a better place?
I'll leave you with a few more lines from that song:
It don't matter where you bury me
I'll be home and I'll be free
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away
So, weep not for me my friends
When my time below does end
For my life belongs to Him
Who will raise the dead again.
He was 21 or 22 (not sure which). I am 23. And to be honest, I don't really want to die quite yet. I want to live a full life, even though I believe I have a place in heaven after I die, which I believe will overshadow anything I want to experience during this lifetime. But still, I'm kind of afraid of dying.
In my freshman year of college, when I had no friends and spent a lot of time in my room (which I didn't mind), I remember at one point praying about death. Not praying for it - I've never had to contend with suicidal thoughts - but about (please don't laugh, or think me too proud) how much the world would miss out on all my genius (for lack of a better word). As in, "I have so much unique potential, what a waste it would be if it was never realized."
God cured me of that. At the time, I came to terms with my imagined death by realizing that whatever uniqueness had been endowed upon me (my insights, especially), God would not waste. I thought, "Well, if I die, God will take everything he's given to me and give it to someone else to bring to the world." While I still believe that to be somewhat true, it is not the only reason the idea of my death is not so unjust anymore. God has done much to humble me over the years.
I also imagined my funeral. Morbid? Perhaps. I heard a story about a guy who planned his funeral as he waited for cancer to take his life. I thought, "Wow. I'd like to have the chance to plan my own funeral. I'll start with a U2 song." A bit romantic. And a little dumb.
I thought of it again yesterday when I heard this Jars of Clay song. I really wish I could find a link to the music, because it's one of my few favorites. I want this played at my funeral. Not because this is where I am - emotionally, spiritually, intellectually - but where I want to be.
When I go, don't cry for me
In my Father's arms I'll be
The wounds this world left on my soul
Will all be healed and I'll be whole.
There are days when I find myself in that place. Some days I get so fed up with the world that I just long for a better place. A better time, when all tears will be washed away - and not just mine. There are days when I feel a poignant longing when the dream of heaven will be fully realized, and all will be just and right and there will be no sin or grief.
And yet, I fear death. I don't desire it - not fully, not yet. I'm attached to this world, perhaps because I have lots left that I want to do. This world is not as it should be, and I want to live a full life to do what I can to make it more like what it should be. More like heaven, really.
And yet this does not explain why some people are taken before their full potential is realized. Jason's death seems nonsensical. Sudden, quick, without purpose. Popping whatever romantic dreams of death I've conjured.
Or perhaps it's not so nonsensical. Maybe planning my own funeral isn't just romantic hot air. Maybe in both there is an opportunity to consider heaven again, and the promise it holds. Though I'm afraid of dying, I'm not afraid of the after. Though those close to Jason surely will grieve, and I (farther away) will feel melancholy as I contemplate death - is it too cliche to say he may be in a better place?
I'll leave you with a few more lines from that song:
It don't matter where you bury me
I'll be home and I'll be free
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away
So, weep not for me my friends
When my time below does end
For my life belongs to Him
Who will raise the dead again.
Saturday, March 3
Sermon on the Mount Pt.1
This week I've been reading Matthew 5-7, known as the "Sermon on the Mount." Much thanks goes out to Dallas Willard for bringing its importance and vitality to my attention, though I never did get all the way through "The Divine Conspiracy." One of these days I will... and maybe I'll just drag you along with me, unsuspecting reader! Don't worry, it'll be good for you.
Anyway, Matthew 5-7 is truly amazing. Every hour I spend with it is like drinking an elixir of life: nourishing, instructive and challenging. Beware, casual reader!
Today's thought comes from chapter 5, verses 29-30."If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."
You may be thinking, "That is a very grisly passage. Why would you spend your time thinking about about gouging out eyes and cutting off hands? That's sick. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Why am I even reading this? I'd rather go check out my friends on MySpace." (Darn you MySpace!)
Hold on! Don't leave me yet! I'll get to the point as fast as possible. (Darn you, short attention spans!)
Lately I have been rather unhappy, for a number of reasons. One is that my beloved houseguests keep leaving dishes and shoes and unusual personal items in my living room. Another is that our new dog Archie is not fully potty-trained, and every few days leaves little presents in the hallway for me to clean up. Yum.
Okay, okay, those aren't the real reasons; I just wanted to complain a little. Honestly, I'm often not happy because I don't do things that end of the day make me feel useful and accomplished. I for one am happy when I feel that I've accomplished something. Instead I do things that pacify me - like playing games on Yahoo, or watching a lot of TV - and later I kick myself and sulk for being a useless dolt. Why can't I just turn the TV off and pick up that book I've been itching to finish? Or why can't I turn off the computer and practice playing my so cool new mandolin?
Are Yahoo games evil and television evil? I'd say no. But what I'm coming to believe is that some things, while not inherently evil, are nonetheless not good. With video games and television I can spend hours in front of a screen, and when I stand up nothing has changed but I've lost precious time. And for what?
In the above passage, Jesus is teaching, in a nutshell, that nothing is sacred if it causes us to sin. I'm coming to believe that wasting time is sin. I won't take the time to hash out what constitutes "wasting" (since if you enjoy these things, as I do, you may be growing defensive, as I might if I were you), or why I might place value on things like books and a mandolin, but the bottom line is if we are supposed to represent Jesus to the world, then there is no time to waste, is there? Not that everything we do must necessarily be of the ABSOLUTE UTMOST importance, but I do want to live my life intentionally, "making the most of every opportunity."
I'm not going to cut off my hand, but I may cut off our cable. If the television is keeping me from obeying Jesus' teaching, then it needs to go. Same for anything in life: relationships, jobs, obligations, hobbies... anything. There's a lot more that could be said about this, more than I can say now without exhausting your patience. I hope I haven't already done so.
All of us, when making an ethical decision, miss the point by asking, "What can't I do?" I think Jesus would rather have us ask, "What can I do?" It is not the Christian's obligation to avoid sin as much as it is to perpetuate righteousness. That's a key tenet of Jesus' teaching in Sermon on the Mount...
But that is a discussion for another time.
Monday, February 19
Words
The Greek poet Euripides once said, "The tongue is mightier than the blade." Two thousand and some years later, playwright Edward Bulwer-Lytton coined the now-popular phrase, "The pen is mightier than the sword." I know this because I looked it up on Wikipedia, the single greatest website on the Internet right now. Yes, even better than YouTube and MySpace combined. Ha! Take that, self-broadcasting.
I bring these up because for several weeks I've been thinking about words and how we use them. It started when Angie and Katie were sitting in our living room perusing a Facebook forum discussing Barack Obama. At least, it started with Obama. Within just a few posts it turned into a free-for-all war of the words where total strangers decided it would be advantageous to rip each other to shreds. And then spit in the remains. It was chaos. It was destructive. It was not the kind of healthy dialogue I would expect from bright young college students.
Politics is a touchy subject these days. There are Bush-haters and Clinton-haters. Republicans and Democrats (and the occasionally Libertarian). Pro-war, anti-war. Pro-life, pro-choice. Vehement opponents and stubborn adherents to public religious expression. It's a constant usthem pushmepullyou goodvsevil killorbekilled country. A soft but thoughtful word is swallowed by the passionate cries of the offended.
I lament this. I really do. It's not true of everyone, but whenever I turn to television, online forums, even many magazine and newspaper articles, I feel overwhelmed by the disdain and scorn with which people treat each other. And Christians aren't much better. Christians can disparage supporters of abortion and gay rights like they are devils incarnate.
Politics aside - there are those (Christian and not) - who are just plain insensitive, and stubborn about it to boot. I know some guys who have taken to using the word "autistic" when they do something clumsy or thoughtless. As in: Johnny drops a plate, it breaks, and he says, "Gosh, I'm so autistic." When I heard this I thought it was highly insensitive to the challenges faced by families with children who are actually autistic, or any family with a mentally handicapped member for that matter. But do they see this? No. Are they willing to hear someone tell them, "You know, that really is inappropriate"? No. Their answer? "People are oversensitive. They just need to get over it."
Those two phrases are perfect representations of the attitude pervading private and public discourse: unqualified self-justification. In politics, it comes out, "You're wrong, and you must be dumb if you can't see why." In religion, it comes out, "You're wrong, and you must be in darkness if you can't see why." In personal life, it comes out,"I'm okay to say whatever I want to say, whenever, and however. If you take offense, I'm not responsible."
It's something that I'm working on as well. A few days ago I posted an impassioned reponse to a friend's anti-Bush blog. I didn't think through everything I wrote, and the next day (after sleep cleared my thick head) I realized I'd written some things that were potentially very hurtful. Sometimes words hurt because someone needs to endure it to hear the truth; more often, I think, we hurt because we want to win. We want to make sure we get our point across. We want to avoid defeat or rejection. We don't want to acknowledge that we might have done or said wrong, and so make ourselves vulnerable to each other.
Anyone who has driven on the highway should know this firsthand.
My conclusion? Nothing profound. Just to wonder how to get people to first want to take responsibility for their words, then how to actually do it. And how to continue to do it myself.
After all, Jesus said "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34). It's something to think about.
I bring these up because for several weeks I've been thinking about words and how we use them. It started when Angie and Katie were sitting in our living room perusing a Facebook forum discussing Barack Obama. At least, it started with Obama. Within just a few posts it turned into a free-for-all war of the words where total strangers decided it would be advantageous to rip each other to shreds. And then spit in the remains. It was chaos. It was destructive. It was not the kind of healthy dialogue I would expect from bright young college students.
Politics is a touchy subject these days. There are Bush-haters and Clinton-haters. Republicans and Democrats (and the occasionally Libertarian). Pro-war, anti-war. Pro-life, pro-choice. Vehement opponents and stubborn adherents to public religious expression. It's a constant usthem pushmepullyou goodvsevil killorbekilled country. A soft but thoughtful word is swallowed by the passionate cries of the offended.
I lament this. I really do. It's not true of everyone, but whenever I turn to television, online forums, even many magazine and newspaper articles, I feel overwhelmed by the disdain and scorn with which people treat each other. And Christians aren't much better. Christians can disparage supporters of abortion and gay rights like they are devils incarnate.
Politics aside - there are those (Christian and not) - who are just plain insensitive, and stubborn about it to boot. I know some guys who have taken to using the word "autistic" when they do something clumsy or thoughtless. As in: Johnny drops a plate, it breaks, and he says, "Gosh, I'm so autistic." When I heard this I thought it was highly insensitive to the challenges faced by families with children who are actually autistic, or any family with a mentally handicapped member for that matter. But do they see this? No. Are they willing to hear someone tell them, "You know, that really is inappropriate"? No. Their answer? "People are oversensitive. They just need to get over it."
Those two phrases are perfect representations of the attitude pervading private and public discourse: unqualified self-justification. In politics, it comes out, "You're wrong, and you must be dumb if you can't see why." In religion, it comes out, "You're wrong, and you must be in darkness if you can't see why." In personal life, it comes out,"I'm okay to say whatever I want to say, whenever, and however. If you take offense, I'm not responsible."
It's something that I'm working on as well. A few days ago I posted an impassioned reponse to a friend's anti-Bush blog. I didn't think through everything I wrote, and the next day (after sleep cleared my thick head) I realized I'd written some things that were potentially very hurtful. Sometimes words hurt because someone needs to endure it to hear the truth; more often, I think, we hurt because we want to win. We want to make sure we get our point across. We want to avoid defeat or rejection. We don't want to acknowledge that we might have done or said wrong, and so make ourselves vulnerable to each other.
Anyone who has driven on the highway should know this firsthand.
My conclusion? Nothing profound. Just to wonder how to get people to first want to take responsibility for their words, then how to actually do it. And how to continue to do it myself.
After all, Jesus said "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34). It's something to think about.
Tuesday, February 6
Todd Agnew again
I haven't heard any more Todd Agnew songs in the last few weeks, but I found myself Wikipedia-ing him today, which led me to this interview. I now have a lot of respect for Todd Agnew. I still don't like any of his songs that I've heard, especially "My Jesus." But I like him. Here's a few reasons:
- "It's kind of like taking a pipe that can be all stopped up with stuff, and the cleaning out of the pipe makes it a more effective pipe. That the design for us was for God's power to move through us to change the world. Genesis 12 - 'I want to bless you so you will be a blessing' - you know? I guess a lot of times we as a modern church, and you see the same thing happen back then with Israel, is that they got focused on the first part..."
- "Like, I'm single, and dating and girls and all that kind of stuff is 'an important part' - 'a distracting part' - but it's part of your life. What you realize is that if you're designed to be a conduit for the Lord's power and you're just trying to go find a girl, then you're taking something and trying to put it in that conduit. As opposed to - if God designs it, He designed you to be a conduit, so He's going to bring something into your life that makes you a better conduit..."
- "I'm a worship leader and one of the things I do in worship, I always ask people, 'Do you mean that? Do you have any idea what you're singing? Are you just singing things?' Because I just woke up one day and realized I was singing 'Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble' by Delirious - and had no idea what I was talking about! I just totally didn't understand the song at all. And so I was having an emotional experience with no concept of that at all..."
Good stuff. Solid. It's a long interview, and I'm not so much down with the first part of it (talking about "My Jesus"), but it's not bad. I just don't want to leave you with the impression that I think Todd Agnew - or any Christian singer, or Christian person - should be scorned, and certainly not in this context.
I think I feel another idea coming on...
- "It's kind of like taking a pipe that can be all stopped up with stuff, and the cleaning out of the pipe makes it a more effective pipe. That the design for us was for God's power to move through us to change the world. Genesis 12 - 'I want to bless you so you will be a blessing' - you know? I guess a lot of times we as a modern church, and you see the same thing happen back then with Israel, is that they got focused on the first part..."
- "Like, I'm single, and dating and girls and all that kind of stuff is 'an important part' - 'a distracting part' - but it's part of your life. What you realize is that if you're designed to be a conduit for the Lord's power and you're just trying to go find a girl, then you're taking something and trying to put it in that conduit. As opposed to - if God designs it, He designed you to be a conduit, so He's going to bring something into your life that makes you a better conduit..."
- "I'm a worship leader and one of the things I do in worship, I always ask people, 'Do you mean that? Do you have any idea what you're singing? Are you just singing things?' Because I just woke up one day and realized I was singing 'Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble' by Delirious - and had no idea what I was talking about! I just totally didn't understand the song at all. And so I was having an emotional experience with no concept of that at all..."
Good stuff. Solid. It's a long interview, and I'm not so much down with the first part of it (talking about "My Jesus"), but it's not bad. I just don't want to leave you with the impression that I think Todd Agnew - or any Christian singer, or Christian person - should be scorned, and certainly not in this context.
I think I feel another idea coming on...
Friday, January 19
Who would you be like?
A few days ago I heard a song on the radio called "My Jesus," by Todd Agnew. I'm not quite sure why I stopped to listen. Maybe because I like to keep up with Christian music (even though it frustrates me), maybe because his voice was grovelly, maybe because the lyrics were uncommonly direct. The point of the song is that American Christians and churches don't get the real Jesus because he bled and died and hung out with thieves and liars and the poor, and they are more concerned with prosperity and clean carpets.
In spirit, I'm with Todd Agnew. In general I think American Christians get trapped too easily too often in exclusivity and excessive affluence. But I hesitate to hand out an unqualified indictment, because there is a lot I still don't understand about the nature of the church and the role of money and God's intentions for those who follow him even though I may not think they get it all right, and how exactly this world is going to be saved from its sin-soaked state.
As I said, I'm with Todd in spirit. But his lyrics and music are poor, at best. Hackneyed. Cliched. Unpoetic, uncreative. The subject has been treated better (in my humble opinion) in other music. Particularly (surprise!) U2. A few examples: Crumbs from Your Table, If God Will Send His Angels, Miracle Drug. Or try some Keith Green, like Asleep in the Light. Or songs from The Jesus Record by Rich Mullins. I'm sure there's more, but that's just off the top of my head.
The climax of Todd's song is a full force emotional declaration of "I want to be like my Jesus" - unlike those other Christians, who'd prefer to be like their Jesus, whom they made into their own liking to justify their affluence.
As much as I'd like to tear apart Todd's lyrical construction, what actually happened at that moment is that I stopped listening to the song and started thinking about who I want to be like. The obvious answer is, "Jesus!" which gets you a gold star in Sunday School but is actually very hard to do. Of course we should all devote our lives to becoming more like Jesus. But because Jesus was perfect, there's one aspect of my life that doesn't correlate to his: my propensity for sin. Really, I feel like a worm who wants to be a bird. Fly, little worm, fly! Be beautiful and majestic! Stop crawling around in the mud and earth, and take to the sky!
So besides Jesus, who do I want to be like? In a moment, I realized that I don't want to imitate Paul or Peter or James or David or Solomon or Moses or Joshua. Not completely. The cloud of history has obscured them in legend, and I don't want to be a legend.
I thought about C.S. Lewis, and what I wouldn't give to have his intellect, imagination, and skill with words, and his faith. I have some talent, I admit, but again, it feels like worms and birds.
One more name pops in my head, a model of unbounded exuberance, creativity, humility, generosity, imagination, and faith. He was utterly honest about his life, held nothing back and hid nothing. He loved nature, because in it he saw God himself, moving, speaking, dwelling. He had a plain and quiet wisdom, and and a wonderful sense of humor. He was not attached to this world, but never did he condemn its people, because he loved them so much it broke his heart, no matter where he found them - in the church, on the road, or in the seediest of places. It was second only to his love for God.
Who am I talking about?
Rich Mullins.
He is my model for a life placed square in the hand of God. If you want to know more what I'm talking about, here's the book you need to read: Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven. Once you do, go back and listen to his music, and tell me you're not moved just a little bit.
In spirit, I'm with Todd Agnew. In general I think American Christians get trapped too easily too often in exclusivity and excessive affluence. But I hesitate to hand out an unqualified indictment, because there is a lot I still don't understand about the nature of the church and the role of money and God's intentions for those who follow him even though I may not think they get it all right, and how exactly this world is going to be saved from its sin-soaked state.
As I said, I'm with Todd in spirit. But his lyrics and music are poor, at best. Hackneyed. Cliched. Unpoetic, uncreative. The subject has been treated better (in my humble opinion) in other music. Particularly (surprise!) U2. A few examples: Crumbs from Your Table, If God Will Send His Angels, Miracle Drug. Or try some Keith Green, like Asleep in the Light. Or songs from The Jesus Record by Rich Mullins. I'm sure there's more, but that's just off the top of my head.
The climax of Todd's song is a full force emotional declaration of "I want to be like my Jesus" - unlike those other Christians, who'd prefer to be like their Jesus, whom they made into their own liking to justify their affluence.
As much as I'd like to tear apart Todd's lyrical construction, what actually happened at that moment is that I stopped listening to the song and started thinking about who I want to be like. The obvious answer is, "Jesus!" which gets you a gold star in Sunday School but is actually very hard to do. Of course we should all devote our lives to becoming more like Jesus. But because Jesus was perfect, there's one aspect of my life that doesn't correlate to his: my propensity for sin. Really, I feel like a worm who wants to be a bird. Fly, little worm, fly! Be beautiful and majestic! Stop crawling around in the mud and earth, and take to the sky!
So besides Jesus, who do I want to be like? In a moment, I realized that I don't want to imitate Paul or Peter or James or David or Solomon or Moses or Joshua. Not completely. The cloud of history has obscured them in legend, and I don't want to be a legend.
I thought about C.S. Lewis, and what I wouldn't give to have his intellect, imagination, and skill with words, and his faith. I have some talent, I admit, but again, it feels like worms and birds.
One more name pops in my head, a model of unbounded exuberance, creativity, humility, generosity, imagination, and faith. He was utterly honest about his life, held nothing back and hid nothing. He loved nature, because in it he saw God himself, moving, speaking, dwelling. He had a plain and quiet wisdom, and and a wonderful sense of humor. He was not attached to this world, but never did he condemn its people, because he loved them so much it broke his heart, no matter where he found them - in the church, on the road, or in the seediest of places. It was second only to his love for God.
Who am I talking about?
Rich Mullins.
He is my model for a life placed square in the hand of God. If you want to know more what I'm talking about, here's the book you need to read: Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven. Once you do, go back and listen to his music, and tell me you're not moved just a little bit.
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