Who would you be like?

A few days ago I heard a song on the radio called "My Jesus," by Todd Agnew. I'm not quite sure why I stopped to listen. Maybe because I like to keep up with Christian music (even though it frustrates me), maybe because his voice was grovelly, maybe because the lyrics were uncommonly direct. The point of the song is that American Christians and churches don't get the real Jesus because he bled and died and hung out with thieves and liars and the poor, and they are more concerned with prosperity and clean carpets.

In spirit, I'm with Todd Agnew. In general I think American Christians get trapped too easily too often in exclusivity and excessive affluence. But I hesitate to hand out an unqualified indictment, because there is a lot I still don't understand about the nature of the church and the role of money and God's intentions for those who follow him even though I may not think they get it all right, and how exactly this world is going to be saved from its sin-soaked state.

As I said, I'm with Todd in spirit. But his lyrics and music are poor, at best. Hackneyed. Cliched. Unpoetic, uncreative. The subject has been treated better (in my humble opinion) in other music. Particularly (surprise!) U2. A few examples: Crumbs from Your Table, If God Will Send His Angels, Miracle Drug. Or try some Keith Green, like Asleep in the Light. Or songs from The Jesus Record by Rich Mullins. I'm sure there's more, but that's just off the top of my head.

The climax of Todd's song is a full force emotional declaration of "I want to be like my Jesus" - unlike those other Christians, who'd prefer to be like their Jesus, whom they made into their own liking to justify their affluence.

As much as I'd like to tear apart Todd's lyrical construction, what actually happened at that moment is that I stopped listening to the song and started thinking about who I want to be like. The obvious answer is, "Jesus!" which gets you a gold star in Sunday School but is actually very hard to do. Of course we should all devote our lives to becoming more like Jesus. But because Jesus was perfect, there's one aspect of my life that doesn't correlate to his: my propensity for sin. Really, I feel like a worm who wants to be a bird. Fly, little worm, fly! Be beautiful and majestic! Stop crawling around in the mud and earth, and take to the sky!

So besides Jesus, who do I want to be like? In a moment, I realized that I don't want to imitate Paul or Peter or James or David or Solomon or Moses or Joshua. Not completely. The cloud of history has obscured them in legend, and I don't want to be a legend.

I thought about C.S. Lewis, and what I wouldn't give to have his intellect, imagination, and skill with words, and his faith. I have some talent, I admit, but again, it feels like worms and birds.

One more name pops in my head, a model of unbounded exuberance, creativity, humility, generosity, imagination, and faith. He was utterly honest about his life, held nothing back and hid nothing. He loved nature, because in it he saw God himself, moving, speaking, dwelling. He had a plain and quiet wisdom, and and a wonderful sense of humor. He was not attached to this world, but never did he condemn its people, because he loved them so much it broke his heart, no matter where he found them - in the church, on the road, or in the seediest of places. It was second only to his love for God.

Who am I talking about?


Rich Mullins.

He is my model for a life placed square in the hand of God. If you want to know more what I'm talking about, here's the book you need to read: Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven. Once you do, go back and listen to his music, and tell me you're not moved just a little bit.